++countYOURSELF_in [BROKEN&FREE]

[idk my bff brindle]

ooc;; it's only long cuz I copied and pasted the first bit from my roleplay audition from him. -shot-

brokencalling.

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Please speak softly or they will hear us and they'll find out why we don't trust them

Speak up dear 'cause I cannot hear you I need to know why we don't trust them

The sunlight was slowly weakening by the time the tom came back to the camp. His grey, brown and black fur made him seem like a shadow in the fading daylight. Only his pale green optics gave him colour as he padded quietly through the camp entrance. Weaving his way past ferns littering the ground and towards the center of the camp, the tom kept his auds pricked. Every follicle of hair on his body was alert as the tom kept low. Soft murmurs came from inside the various dens, and an amourous couple was sharing tongues outside by one of the camp walls. Neither of them notice Brokencalling as he padded towards the fresh-kill pile, a mouse and a vole clenched in his large muzzle. He deposited them in gently, his stomach rumbling before he picked a small squirrel out of the pile. He took it to a more lonely corner of the camp before biting into it, sighing in satisfaction as the warm juice ran down his throat.

He was in the progress of enjoying his meal when a soft whisper caught the attention of his lightly fuzzed auds. He turned, eyes curious towards a pair of young apprentices peeking out of their den and staring at him. Brokencalling stared back venomously, his neck fur beginning to fluff up. When the apprentices noticed him staring back, they darted back into their den guiltily. Brokencalling's stomach clenched.

He was sick of the attention he was getting. He was sick of everyone thinking he was lying, when he really couldn't remember anything. He saw the looks the other warriors gave him. He hated how the apprentices talked about him and tried to figure him out. He hated how there was so much whispering going on behind his back. Brokencalling was desperate to prove himself in the eyes of the Clan, and every untrusting gaze hurt him deeply. The Tribe of Nightmares had been defeated and the cloud of suspicion looming over the Clan had been lifted. Yet Brokencalling hadn't yet been forgiven for something he hadn't done. Or remembered doing.

He sighed, finishing his squirrel with a gulp. He stayed in the dark corner, eyes watching the activies of the camp.

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[lonelylove :D]

f r e e spirit.

Freespirit sauntered out of the warriors den. Her tabby fur glittered in the cold sunshine. She stopped to yawn before walking over to the fresh-kill pile. Her stomach was rumbling, and she wasn't sure if Timbersmoke had given Cyanfeather anything to eat for breakfast yet. She was about to pick up a mouse and vole when something caught her eye. She lifted her head and spotted a lump of fur lying in a desolate corner of camp. Something drew her towards it. She abandoned the fresh-kill and trotted over, carrying her cheery attitude with her. Hello? Anyone home? She smiled to herself.

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[idk my bff brindle]

brokencalling.

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Please speak softly or they will hear us and they'll find out why we don't trust them

Speak up dear 'cause I cannot hear you I need to know why we don't trust them

Lying there with his head in his paws, the dark tabby almost didn't notice when another figure padded up tom him. Brokencalling looked up, his watery green optics shining pitifully. He recognized her vaguely as Freespirit, one of the quieter she-cats of the Clan. He sat up and good-naturedly humoured her comments, though his ears were pricked and he was desperately trying to figure her out. Was she really joking around with him? Brokencalling was instantly put on edge. Had Clearpool put her up to this? Did even the cats he barely knew mistrust him. He sighed and licked his shoulder, eyes distant. "Hello, Freespirit- right? Uhm, lovely day, isn't it?"

He watched her expectantly, his eyes shining unfathomably. His stubby tail moved silently through the air, and he wondered if he scared her- if the long claw-like scars down his face scared him.

[lonelylove :D]

f r e e spirit.

Freespirit saw that it was Brokencalling who was sitting by himself. She noticed the desperate and sad look on his face. The femme couldn't help but pity him a little bit. Some of the warriors were suspicious of him, but Freespirit wasn't sure why. He seemed nice enough. Why would anyone be mean?

He finally spoke, though he sounded cautious. Hello, Brokencalling. It is indeed a fine day. She smiled again, though she wasn't sure why. Something about this cat made her feel funny in the guts. She shrugged off the sensation and sat down next to him. She looked at his face and saw the scars there. Ooh, ouch. Did those hurt? She touched them with a paw, but was very gentle.

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[idk my bff brindle]

brokencalling.

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Please speak softly or they will hear us and they'll find out why we don't trust them

Speak up dear 'cause I cannot hear you I need to know why we don't trust them

Brokencalling watched her hesitantly, his pale eyes curious as she smiled at him. He opened his mouth slightly, giving a small nod. Was she suspicious of him? The brown tabby didn't think so, given the way she was looking at him- was that a hint of friendship?- but he couldn't be sure. She agreed with his comment, but the whole thing sounded a little bit formal to Brokencalling. He opened his mouth to reply when she came closer and drew her paw over the scars on his face.

"Not at all" he mewed honestly, cringing at the thought of her disgust at the pink slashes covering his body. He was, in effect, a lattice of scars. "Well, it musta hurt when I got it, but I don't really remember, 'cause yeah... you know...." he trailed off awkwardly.

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[lonelylove :D]

f r e e spirit.

Freespirit withdrew her paw and looked at him square in the eyes. She tilted her head narrowed her own dark amber ones. What do you mean, you don't know? Then her eyes opened widen as she remembered. Oh, you lost your memory, right? She smiled sadly and stroked one of the scars sadly. That must suck. She sighed a little, as if she could feel his pain. You can't remember anything before... what, the battle? You can't remember your kithood? She became bug-eyed with curiousity.

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[idk my bff brindle]

brokencalling.

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Please speak softly or they will hear us and they'll find out why we don't trust them

Speak up dear 'cause I cannot hear you I need to know why we don't trust them

Brokencalling watched as her expression went from curious to angry to somewhat skeptical before her mouth opened slightly and she realized what he was talking about. He sighed angrily. Was the whole amnesia thing really that hard to believe? Why couldn't anyone trust him? He watched silently, eyes unfathomable as she went totally bug-eyed. Not even your kithood? she asked, and Brokencalling began to shake his head with a 'no' before he paused. "It's not a total memory blank... I mean, I can remember some things. Flashs, I suppose. But nothing more recent. Yeah, I know it sounds really... I dunno, tough to believe? But I just... I don't know anymore..."

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[lonelylove :D]

f r e e spirit.

Freespirit's mouth scrunched as she thought about it. Why a cat would be suspicious about someone losing their memory seemed really stupid to the young warrior. Just because someone's never heard of it happening before doesn't mean it's not believeable. She closed her eyes. Some cats can be so narrow-minded. Her meow lowered in volume. But not me. She gave him a friendly smile. You're pretty cool to me.

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[idk my bff brindle]

brokencalling.

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Please speak softly or they will hear us and they'll find out why we don't trust them

Speak up dear 'cause I cannot hear you I need to know why we don't trust them

"T-Thanks," Brokencalling said, sweeping his tail over his paws and looking down in a strangly effective gesture. He wasn't used to cats being nice to him. Sure, some tolerated him, but everyone didn't know whether to trust him or not. Even if they believed him, they still didn't trust him. He decided to go out on a limb for Freespirit- maybe he would end up with a good friend. "Yeah, I know. I mean, how else would the leaders have gotten the Clans in the first place? 'Oh, some mysterious dead cats have come told me to lead you!' I probably would have been like 'yeah right'," he joked, watching her for her reaction. He didn't want her to think he was insulting StarClan. "Uhm.."

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[lonelylove :D]

f r e e spirit.

Freespirit grinned as he decided to reach out to her. You're welcome. Then he talked about Starclan. Hmm... I guess your right. I mean, not believing in anything, then have some cat come up to you and say, 'Oh yeah, when we die we go live in the sky. And we watch over the living. And appear in dreams. And lead you.' I'd probably think that cat was crazy! She laughed.

She looked up at the blue sky. It wasn't even close to nighttime, but she could still picture the sparkling silver dots that were supposed to be her ancestors. I wonder what it's like to be dead, She wondered out loud.

[idk my bff brindle]

brokencalling.

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Please speak softly or they will hear us and they'll find out why we don't trust them

Speak up dear 'cause I cannot hear you I need to know why we don't trust them

Brokencalling watched her, his eyes twinkling as he heard her speak. He felt normal once more. Well, as close to normal as he could remember. He let a grin cross his face before laughing heartily at her comment. The notion of StarClan was rather ridiculous, yet somehow the tabby warrior couldn't imagine believing in anything else. StarClan was everything.

"Must be pretty boring," the warrior comment, twitching his whiskers. "Nothing to do but go on and on about doom and gloom and all that other great stuff. I mean, you might get to be with your mate or your friends again, but it must be pretty sad up there, knowing all the bad things that are gonna happen. Done here we're more... innocent."

[lonelylove :D]

f r e e spirit.

It was music to her ears to hear Brokencalling laugh. She smiled, but mostly to herself. Could she really have made him laugh?

She nodded in agreement. Yeah, being dead is boring. There's no excitment. Everything is anticipated. She sighed. But when he spoke of innocence. She began to laugh. Harshly. Innocent? Down here? You're kidding, right? The lines of her face became finer as it took on a grim aspect. Nothing down here is innocent. My parents were robbed from me. My brother raped a she-cat from Moonclan. My sister won't talk to anyone, practically, except for Runningcloud. You call that innocent? She snarled, but not really at him. More at herself. She put her head on her paws and stared ahead in a sullen manner. What had been an innocent conversation had turned into another reminder of how suckish her life was.

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[idk my bff brindle]

brokencalling.

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Please speak softly or they will hear us and they'll find out why we don't trust them

Speak up dear 'cause I cannot hear you I need to know why we don't trust them

Brokencalling laughed along with her, glad that they were getting on so well. He chuckled, amazed he had found a friend. So all the Clan didn't hate him- so not all of them thought he was planning something awful. Now, with the looming thread of the Tribe gone, he was starting to be accepted back into the Clan- be accepted back into the groups and circles that made up the friendships and core of the Clan. His joyous mood, however, was shattered when she suddenly went emo on him and began to moan about at her life. Perhaps in his past life, Brokencalling would have been disgusted. But for all the tom knew, his life could have been like that. He looked down, emberassed. "Sorry..."

"Your brother, that's Timbersmoke, right? Uhm..." so maybe the brown tabby's social skills weren't as good as he had thought. "I'm sorry... I just meant we could enjoy life more. We wouldn't know about the tradegies before the happen. The... rape... is awful, and Timbersmoke has to live with it. But imagine Timbersmoke knowing his whole life that he was doomed to rape that she-cat. That would suck...."

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[lonelylove :D]

f r e e spirit.

Freespirit lifted her head and looked at Brokencalling. He looked mighty desperate. He must really want a friend. She blinked as he tried to make his words right. Don't let him be a fool! She coughed and mewed back, I guess... I think if I knew my whole life I was going to do something wrong later on, I'd end it before it started. Her words bitter, but nothing but the truth.

A cold wind blew through her thin fur. She shivered and moved closer to Brokencalling. It's been getting so cold lately.

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[idk my bff brindle]

brokencalling.

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Please speak softly or they will hear us and they'll find out why we don't trust them

Speak up dear 'cause I cannot hear you I need to know why we don't trust them

The whole conversation went stale. Brokencalling stared at his paws, sighing and licking his shoulder sadly. Yet another attempt had failed. It seemed like whenever he was close, the brown tabby would say the wrong thing and it would start over again. Apparently he had used to be a smooth talker, but his skills had left him. Brokencalling sighed, turning his head away. He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, hoping that she would say something. And, miraculously, she did.

"It really is," Brokencalling agreed, sweeping his tail over his paws and looking bad at her. Maybe there was still a chance. "I hope the hunting patrol brings back something good for the queens and elders. It looks like a tough leafbare."

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[lonelylove :D]

freespirit.

Freespirit nodded. I hate leaf-bare. The last leaf-bare, it was freezing cold all the time. Leaf-bare takes a toll on the kits and the elders. A smile escaped onto her lips. But I loved the snow. It's so... Her sentence trailed off. I can't even describe it. She thought hard. It's like... little flakes of joy. All piled together, perfect for playing in. She grinned again. I wish it would snow now.

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[idk my bff brindle]

brokencalling.

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Please speak softly or they will hear us and they'll find out why we don't trust them

Speak up dear 'cause I cannot hear you I need to know why we don't trust them

"Snow's cold," Brokencalling replied, shuffling his paws. He watched her curiously, unsure of what to say. He wanted to say something interesting, something exiting to draw her attention, but the tom couldn't bring himself too. Well, truthfully, the tom couldn't think of anything to say. He was relieved that the topic of conversation had shifted, but he wasn't sure if it was a bad thing to disagree with her here. "I mean, yeah, it's pretty, but it's cold. Leafbare... it's not really a good thing. The prey goes and sickness comes and all we get is a little bit of beauty."

He clamped his muzzle shut, afraid that he had said the wrong thing. Would she take offence at that? It seemed like all Brokencalling was doing now was spreading bad feelings. The tom shivered, sighing softly as he waited for her response to his awful comment.

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[lonelylove :D]

freespirit !!

Freespirit raised her silken eyebrows as he pondered over what to say. I agree, leaf-bare is a cruel thing, stealing prey and leaving sickness in it's path. She took a deep breath. But, it's necessary. The earth needs time to replenish itself and recover. Otherwise, we might not have any plants at all. She drew a paw over her ear, and started grooming herself. How would like to have dead plants the other seasons? I don't think you'd like it very much.

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[idk my bff brindle]

brokencalling.

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Please speak softly or they will hear us and they'll find out why we don't trust them

Speak up dear 'cause I cannot hear you I need to know why we don't trust them

Brokencalling scoffed slightly, digging his claws into the frosty ground. A grin grazed his face as he chuckled slightly. Beginning to feel comfortable once more, the grey and brown tabby pricked his ears forwards. He leaned in closer towards her, not fully aware that he was getting closer to the she-cat. Amusement twinkled in his pale green eyes as his tail whipped through the air. He opened his mouth to speak, unable to stop the good-natured words from tumbling out. "Heh. Quite the philosopher, I see."

He smiled at her, licking his chest fur with a rapid certainty. The grey tom was nervous. It had been awhile since he had a normal conversation with a cat who didn't think he was trying to bring down the Clan or something. Churning the ground below him with massive paws, Brokencalling continued. "It's too bad though, that it can't do this rejuvinating thing while being warm. Maybe the prey should just get more used to the cold then. So the mice could still scurry around even when it's freezing out."

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[lonelylove :D]

freespirit !!

Freespirit smiled a little. Her cheeks warmed at the praise. Thanks, I guess. I do like to think, but when it comes to anger, I speak before I can think! She laughed at herself, and at the next thing Brokencalling said. She felt his breath on her fur. But if it was rejuvinating while it was warm, where would all the plants be that we have during greenleaf? And the leaves on the trees? She smirked at the massive tom. They can't get used to the cold. They'd just die. She grinned. She had trapped him.

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[idk my bff brindle]

brokencalling.

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Please speak softly or they will hear us and they'll find out why we don't trust them

Speak up dear 'cause I cannot hear you I need to know why we don't trust them

Brokencalling watched with wide eyes as she pinned him against a wall in their argument. He let out an indignant gasp, turning his head away and chuckling. A grin formed on his face as he shook his head slightly. Trying to come up with a good comeback, the brown tabby flickered his ears towards her. He turned back to face her, suddenly realizing that their pelts were almost touching. Taking a slight shuffle back, Brokencalling let out a slight cough before launching back into his wonderful narrative about how leaf-bare was not nessicary. "Aha, that's what you think. But if leaf-bare didn't exist, then the systems of the world would be changed. So maybe if there was no leaf-bare, there would be no cold either. Then the trees and green stuff wouldn't have to face the cold. Neither would we, actually. Maybe we could have warm snow that you she-cats could look at to amuse yourself."

The good-natured glint in his pale green eyes re-appeared as Brokencalling fought to keep a straight face as he watched for her reaction.

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[lonelylove :D]

freespirit !!

Freespirit hissed frustratingly at Brokencalling's comeback. But that would mean change the exact science of plants! That would completely change everything. And snow isn't warm! That's water you mean. She huffed and stood up. I can't argue with someone like you. You are impossible. She grinned, showing that she was joking. Then, her stomach rumbled loudly. The young femme giggled. Oops, I got so wrapped up in our arguement I forgot to eat. She looked longingly at the fresh-kill she had abandoned earlier, but she couldn't move. She felt as if she was rooted to the ground. She looked down at her paws ackwardly, hoping the protests of her belly would go away.

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[idk my bff brindle]

brokencalling.

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Please speak softly or they will hear us and they'll find out why we don't trust them

Speak up dear 'cause I cannot hear you I need to know why we don't trust them

"Pfft" scoffed Brokencalling, rolling his green eyes. "Hah, you just don't want to admint that I'm right." Laughter was plain in the tabby's watery green eyes as he watched her. It felt good to just talk normally again. His heart skipped a beat as he watched her, a tremor running through his legs. The sun began to set even further, and Brokencalling looked off to the side. Steeped in shadow, his scars began to glisten a bright white. Turning back towards her, he closed his eyes to sigh, and his left eye looked completely scissored with the scar marking. He opened them again, his eyes taking on a more serious.

She talked about eating, and Brokencalling felt a chuckle die in his throat. The conversation had suddenly turned serious, on a completely different course than arguements about leaf-bare. Brokencalling noticed she didn't seem to be reaching for her food, and his brow furrowed. He pushed it closer to her with a striped paw. "Eat, then."

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[lonelylove :D]

freespirit !!

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Freespirit narrowed her eyes at Brokencalling. She was not going to back down to him! What are you talking about? I am so right! But we can't talk about bare-leaf the whole day. She rolled her eyes playfully right back at him. She noticed his happiness and grinned. You're not a sad cat all the time, I see. She nudged him with her shoulder. You just need some encouraging. She winked at him and accepted the prey he gave her gratefully. Oh, thanks. The tenseness in her muscles was gone as she reached forward and took a huge bite of mouse. Want any?, She asked through a mouth full of food.[/color][/size][/blockquote]

[idk my bff brindle]

brokencalling.

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Please speak softly or they will hear us and they'll find out why we don't trust them

Speak up dear 'cause I cannot hear you I need to know why we don't trust them

Brokencalling ducked in case the tabby she-cat tried to swat at his face, but the scarred tom was in luck. He straightening himself out, stomach rumbling as she bit into the prey. He licked his muzzle, vanquished hunger returning to rumble his stomach. A chuckle escaped his brown maw as his green eyes watched her softly. His let a grin graze his face before mewing. "Don't thank me. It was your prey anyways. I just...." he trailed off, having not really done anything. The cheerful expression on the tabby's face vanished and he quickly licked his shoulder once more, letting his pink tongue rasp over the shimmering scar. He looked back to her once more, shadows camouflaging his face. "I'm not always that sad. But I guess no one seems to notice- they're all too busy distrusting or pitying me," he growled angrily, his mouth dry. Brokencalling knew the accusation was unfair, but he couldn't help himself.

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