i don't wanna grow up .

[SHADE. :D]

Though the sun was bright, spirits were low. A cat stalked, flat footed, through the undergrowth, her fur bristling and eyes burning. The she-cat was young, only about ten or eleven moons old. Her fur was sleek and white, though this was broken by splotches of creamiest ochre. Her eyes, still furious and wet, were a deep, dark green colour. The she-cat's tail lashed as she went, and she lunged out for a fern with claws unsheathed. She severed the stem with her sharp claws, though it did nothing to improve her black mood.

Tawnypaw gave a hiccough and a snort of anger. Hate for Barrenpaw coursed through her body. She tried to tell herself he was just a stupid tom that a badger had coughed up. The she-cat stamped down hard on a woodlouse, killing the insect. She still felt no better. Loneliness and anger were making her heart throb. Why did her father have to be dead? Tawnypaw almost felt as though she were blaming the lost tom for her rage and heartache. The apprentice gave a hiss and stared up at the sky, her green eyes beaming a challenge up at the clouds. "Why did you leave have to leave us?" she mewed bitterly, her words spat from deep in the recesses of her heart. Tawnypaw then stalked on, lost in thoughts. She felt extremely sorry for herself and Dewpaw.

The young she-cat's paws brought her to the small crescent of land which sloped down into the waterfall's depths. Tawnypaw sat a tail length from the water's edge, wrapping her long patched tail around her forepaws. Tawnypaw's green eyes followed the foaming curve of the waterfall, as it dropped into the pool below. The she-cat examined the water, her eyes narrowing. It was strangely violent today, as though StarClan was channingly its anger into the rushing pool. Tawnypaw wished she could do the same. Her fury felt like a wet blanket over her heart, weighing her down. The she-cat looked at the chill waves, trying to calm herseld down. Something dark was floating on the surface of the waves. She concentrated on that. Tawnypaw suddenly blinked. What was it? It looked... No... Tawnypaw stood up and gasped. It was a cat.

Tawnypaw dashed to the lip of the pool, her fury bristling. The cat was struggling vainly against the violent waves, as they pushed it to and fro without pity. Tawnypaw registered that the fur was a dark brown colour, but that was all she could tell. The cat was sodden and thrashing madly; there was no telling what clan it was from. Tawnypaw knew she had no choice. Remembering everything Skyflight had taught her about swimming, the apprentice threw herself into the forbidding waves. The water hit her. It was freezing, and soon she was drenched. But Tawnypaw was still strong; she began to swim strongly towards the drowning cat, her head pushed determinedly bove the surface.

As she got closer, she noticed a white smudge below the cat's muzzle. The face was strangely familiar. Tawnypaw lashed her tail, gaining some speed. She then lunged forward and grabbed the cat's scruff between her jaws. Tawnypaw pulled with all of her might. The cat was extremely heavy, and the weight of her own soaked fur was dragging her down. Yet she swam on, muscles straining. Tawnypaw felt as though her heart would burst from exhaustion when her pawpads brushed pebbles. Swallowing a mouthful of river water in her relief, the apprentice dragged herself and the cat out of the water.

Coughing and retching, Tawnypaw shook the worst of the water from her fur. Shivering, the she-cat leant over the cat. She could now tell it was a she-cat, and as she pushed her nose into the cat's drenched flank, she smelt that it was a CloudClanner. Worry pulled at her heart. Tawnypaw knew the scent, but her fuddled brain could not place it. She jumped as the she-cat writhed and coughed, her eyes opening wide. Tawnypaw caught they're colour before they flashed shut again. They were a bright, zesty yellow. Tawnypaw had only ever seen such an intense yellow on one cat. She put two and two together, and let out a cry. "No! Mother! Mother, no!" Tawnypaw pounced on the limp she-cat, and began pushing hard on her chest. "Come on, you can do it!" But the she-cat did not move. Tawnypaw was not even sure that she was breathing. "Please! No! Mamma!" Tawnypaw turned around, reeling with distress.

"Help! Somebody help! Please!"

[fernie. (:]

Silence. Silence echoed through the trees, and the elderly she-cat's mind. She was thinking about her friend, Brokenheart, her lost friend. She thought about the other elder a lot now that she was dead, and was doing just that now. She was thinking about how Brokenheart had been the only one to really seem to want to talk to Fallenleaf in her old age. Suddenly, a screech split the silence like a knife and Fallenleaf's head perked up, her easing into a rusty lope through the undergrowth, where she met Tawnypaw and her mother, both drenched. 'Wha...' she asked, then shook her head. She padded forward and nuzzled the older she-cat's fur, finding a shallow pulse. 'We need the medicine cat.' she said simply, shaking her head. She had no knowledge of herbs and didn't have a clue what to look for.

[Spice..xx]

<sub>Now was a good time to put her tracking skills to the test. Remembering Eaglefeathers instructions she kept her nose close to the ground and her mouth open to draw in Tawnypaws scent. Her grey eyes scanned the trees and her brown and white pelt rippled as she moved. She was coming to where the scent of her sister was strongest when she heard it. A horrible shriek for help.

Dewpaw ran as fast as her legs would carry her. She had recognized that shriek. It was Tawnypaw. What if her sister was in trouble. She ran faster, her paws pounding the ground as she raced through the trees. She came to Vapour Falls and as she was running so fast she didnt stop in time and skidded down the bank, squealing as she did. She whipped round to face her sister. Tawnypaw was with Fallenleaf and...Dewpaw let out a cry of despair. "Mum! Mum, wake up please! Nooo" she sobbed, her shoulders shaking. She looked at her sister and Fallenleaf, her eyes blurry with tears. "What do we do? She cant be dead, she cant be dead" she wailed, collapsing in a heap by her mothers side.</sub>

[FIREH!!]

_{A she-cat poked her face out of the bushes. Noticing the two apprentice, elder and the water soaked cat, she raced over. "Oh Starclan.. No!" She cried. Icelily began to work her medicine skills on the cat, pushing on her stomach to release water from her jaws. She then called to Dewpaw. "Dewpaw! Fetch some..." Icelily.. Think.. What would Bluewhisker use... Oh yeah! "Thyme or Chamomile! and get Dragonflydance!" She cried. "Don't worry.. You'll be okay.." She whispered into the unconcious she-cat's ear.}

[SHADE. :D]

Tawnypaw sobbed wretchedly, looking at Fallenleaf. "Fallenleaf, don't let her die," she gasped, between sobs. The apprentice stared at her mother's drenched body, and helpless waves of tears welled up in her green eyes. "Mamma!" A familiar scent caused her to wheel around. Tawnypaw stumbled towards Dewpaw, her tail drooping. She curled her body around her sister, her jaw moving unconsciously as her sobs spilled from her mouth. "No, no!" Tawnypaw's tears dripped onto Dewpaw's dark grey and white patched fur. The apprentice gulped and snorted in a breath, before her sobs continued. It couldn't be true... Am I dreaming? Tawnypaw shut her eyes hard, then opened them again. No. Lemonzest was still lying there, still and dripping. "No!" Tawnypaw broke down, her face buried in Dewpaw's fur.

[Spice..xx]

<sub>Dewpaw nodded blankly to Icelily and took off in search of the herbs. She ran blindly, using scent to guide her. She finally stumbled upon a clump of Thyme and ripped great loads of it off. Once she had as much in her mouth as she could manage she streaked back to the Falls. She spat the leaves nect to Icelily and turned to run back to camp. "Ill go for Dragonflydance now!" she cried, running as fast as she could through the trees and back to camp.

[ooc]I'll post with Dew as soon as someone else posts in the CC camp thread.</sub>

[fernie. (:]

Fallenleaf opened her mouth to say something but swallowed her words as Icelily joined them. 'Help her, Icelily! I don't know what to do...' she said, and nuzzled Tawnypaw in means of comfort. She watched as Dewpaw ran from the scene to get Dragonflydance, and the elderly she-cat felt helpless. She didn't know what to do in times like these...

[FIREH!!]

_{Finally, all the water was free from the she-cat. "Lemonzest.. Can you hear me?" She meowed. Icelily tensed, hoing the she-cat would respond. She padded to Tawnypaw and licked her head. "It'll be okay, I promise." The she-cat meowed to the apprentice.}

[SHADE. :D]

Tawnypaw leant helplessly against Fallenleafr, sobs racking her sodden form. The she-cat rested her head on the elder's thin chest, her leaking green eyes fixed on her mother's still body. She looked so frail. She looked like Cormorantstar had, when... Tawnypaw shut her eyes in numb sorrow. No. She wouldn't die... Dragonflydance wouldn't let her die... Would she?

Dragonflydance sprinted through the trees, the three apprentices behind her. As she broke into the clearing she spotted the still bundle of dark tabby fur that was Lemonzest. Turning to take the herbs from Barrenpaw and Treepaw, she dashed to the queen's side. Dragonflydance looked quickly up at her mother, Icelily. She could see the white she-cat had removed the water from Lemonzest's lungs, but the dark tabby still was not breathing. Dragonflydance parted the she-cat's jaws, gently pushing in some herbs. She massaged Lemonzest's prone throat, hoping at least some of the herbs would go down. She felt no lumps stuck in the she-cat's throat; she had not choked. Dragonflydance pressed her ear to Lemonzest's drenched chest. There was no ticl tick of a heartbeat. Dragonflydance began to knead the snowy chest with her paws, but to no avail. Dragonflydance let out a long, greif-ridden sigh. Lemonzest was dead. They had come too late. Turning, she mewed gently. "I'm so sorrow, Tawnypaw, Dewpaw, but she is-"

Tawnypaw interrupted her. "No," her mew was quiet and numb, as though her misery had blinded her. "No." Tawnypaw began to shiver violently, though not from her soaking fur. "No!" She threw back her head and yowled. "No! No.. N-no..." Tawnypaw's breath was ragged. She rounded on Dragonflydance. "It's your fault! You didn't save her!" Tawnypaw stared at Icelily. "Nor did you!" Tawnypaw crumpled. She sobbed onto her paws, her chest, the grass. This couldn't be happening. Something hit her. It's not their fault... It's your's... "My fault," the croak could barely be heard in her throat. "All my fault.. She's dead and it's my fault."

[FIREH!!]

_{Icelily gasped. She walkd to the young cat. It is not your fault. We all tried to save her. If it's anyone's fault, it's the river's. It's the thing that drowned her. Do not blame yourself. Your mother would never wish that upon you. I know that. Icelily smiled gently at the apprentice. Though behind the smile was a heart of grief. She had made good friends with Lemonzest when she was in the nursery, and she couldn't bear to see her friend's body there. She licked the apprentice comfortingly. Tawnypaw, I'm pretty much your second mother, right? She would want me to help you along. She smiled to the sky, and swore she saw a cloud with the look of Lemonzest smiling down upon her kits and friend. Icelily blinked and the image was gone.}

[Spice..xx]

_{Dewpaw raced right next to Dragonflydance and skidded to a stop beside her. She stood still and watched. At Dragonflydances words she went numb. Mother......dead. All her senses suddenly came back to her and she collapsed on the ground next to Tawnypaw. "Nooooooooo!" she screamed, burying her face in her sister. She choked on her sobs and coughed and spluttered. She cried and cried, her shoulders shaking violently as she struggled to draw in enough breath. No matter how hard she tried though she couldnt stop crying. She just couldnt. Not when her mother had just died.}[/color]

[SHADE. :D]

Tawnypaw ignored Icelily, except her final words. She looked up, face screwed up and drenched with river water and salty tears. "Y-you'll never replace m-mother!" she yowled, her words jumping to different pitches in her sorrow. Tawnypaw would never have usaully been so rude to Icelily; she had nursed Tawnypaw and Dewpaw when they had been kits if Lemonzest had gone out hunting or for a walk. But the she-cat was blinded by misery. Her mother was dead. Gone forever. Just like her father. Dewpaw was the only family she had left, now. Tawnypaw slumped down beside Dewpaw, her sobs sinking into silence. She just stared in dumb sadness, her head rested on her sister's grey shoulders. She was rigid with greif; she never wanted to move again. If she stared at Lemonzest from this angle, she could have been sleeping. The water streaming from her coat was less visible and her gaping jaws were not visible. Tawnypaw gulped and, as a cold wind swept past her, she shivered violently. Her wet fur caused her to sneeze and shudder, but she barely noticed.

Dragonflydance sadly watched Tawnypaw and Dewpaw greive. The medicine cat pressed her nose into Lemonzest's drenched tabby fur, and licked the dead queen's neck. "May you go to StarClan in peace," she murmured. "We pray that your spirit will reach them without wavering or being snared by the dark stars." Dragonflydance turned to Barrenpaw and Treepaw and took a pure white flower from Barrenpaw. She placed it on Lemonzest's chest, where her heart had once beat. "Go now, dear one," she said quietly, a tear sliding down her cheek.

[fernie. (:]

Fallenleaf gasped quietly at Dragonflydance's words. She hadn't known Lemonzest very well but she could imagine what the two apprentices were feeling right now. Fallenleaf shook her head in dismay and padded silently into the shadows of the forest, not wanting to be a bother in their time of grief.

[Spice..xx]

_{Dewpaw grieved so differently from her sister. As Tawnypaw sat in silence Dewpaw continued to choke and gasp and splutter against her sister's rigid form. Finally, she found she had no more tears left to cry but the choked up feeling wouldnt leave her throat. She sniffed loudly every few seconds and sat staring at her mother, pressed firmly against Tawnypaw. She wasnt moving without her sister, not now.
This was the worst day of her life.}[/color]

[KURI. (happy birfday to me :D)]

Barrenpaw looked on. It wasn't Tawnypaw who had fallen in the water, it was her mother. The aqua-eyed tomcat stiffened, he had never even known his mother or father. Now CloudClan had not three, but five orphaned apprentices. He narrowed his eyes, watching as Lemonzest lay motionless on the forest floor. He flicked his tail almost casually, as if he saw a dying cat every day. A part of him ached for Tawnypaw and Dewpaw, but he was still much to angry to let it show. "She's dead." were the only words that came out. No sadness tinted his voice, his tone was flat and uncaring. He never knew this cat, and hated her daughter. Why should he really care?

[ooc] Barrenpaw is so mean. D= But I luffles him anyway.

[SHADE. :D]

At first she thought that she had not heard him right. But no... She had. Tawnypaw turned to stare at Barrenpaw, her expression breifly shocked and hurt, then rage twisted her features. She flew at him, claws unsheathed, hissing angrily. Biting down on the tom's shoulder, she wrenched at Barrenpaw's body, trying to unbalance him. Pulling back, she began to yowl. "She's dead and you don't even care! You can't even be cival for two seconds! My mother's dead and... And..." Tawnypaw backed away, tears running down her cheeks. She stared at Barrenpaw, gulping and choking on her sobs. A apology flashed breifly in her eyes, then she added; "I hate this clan! All of you!" She knew Dewpaw would realize she was excluded. Tawnypaw looked at Barrenpaw, her eyes wide and filled with anger and misery. Her mouth moved, but no words formed in her throat. Tawnypaw tottered towards Lemonzest's body and collapsed at her side, shivering and spluttering.

Dragonflydance shot Barrenpaw a frown. She shook her head slowly at the tom, hoping he'd recognize the gesture and not react. She's greiving. Dragonflydance could not understand how Barrenpaw could be so hateful. She knew the tom disliked Tawnypaw, but her mother was dead. This was no time for stupid rivalries. Dragonflydance sighed. She looked at Dewpaw. The grey and white kitten was shaking with greif. Tawnypaw, too. Dragonflydance shut her eyes. It would take a while to heal the young she-cat's hearts.

[KURI. (happy birfday to me :D)]

Barrenpaw flinched back, more at the hurt in her eyes than the wound she had inflicted on her shoulder. His eyes lost some of their sharp definance, for the first time he was willing to show his sympathy. "At least you knew your mother," he muttered under his breath, tears staining his cheeks. She was Tawnypaw, daughter of Comerantstar and Lemonzest. He was Barrenpaw, son of who-knows-who. For a heartbeat the envy threatened to twist into rage, but the feeling soon resided. "I'm sorry," he meowed, a little louder. He couldn't say he hated seeing Dewpaw and Tawnypaw so sad, but it made him no happier. "She was a great warrior." He shuffled his paws and looked at Treepaw, guilty. He shouldn't have been so careless.

[/blockquote][/size]

[Spice..xx]

_{Dewpaw felt the rage boil up inside her but her sister got to Barrenpaw first. She hissed angrily and stumbled her way towards Tawnypaw. She buried her head in her sisters fur, tears still falling down her cheeks. This was it, Barrenpaw had reminded her of the fact. Both her parents were dead, well Cormarantstar had dissappeared but he might as well be dead for all Dewpaw knew of him. She sobbed and sobbed into her sisters fur, matting it up with the wetness. She raised her head to breathe but stayed by her sisters side, shaking hard with shock.}[/color]

[SHADE. :D]

Tawnypaw pressed her dripping brow into Dewpaw's chest. Her whole body was shivering, her fur sticking up in damp points like static. At Barrenpaw's first, sullen comment, her head flashed up. "And now she's d-dead," she mewed, before her head ducked down again. As the other apprentice apologized, she flicked her tail tip in acknowledgement. Tawnypaw gasped as the reality washed over her. Her mother was dead. She only had Dewpaw left now. She was in the same boat as Barrenpaw, Treepaw and Barleypaw.

Dragonflydance looked up, her blue eyes saddened. Turning to her mother, Treepaw and Barrenpaw, she mewed softly; "Could you carry Lemonzest's body back to camp?" She requested. The medicine cat padded towards Dewpaw and Tawnypaw, curling her long tail over their shoulders. "Come on," she mewed. "You need to rest, and dry off." She aimed the last comment at Tawnypaw. Dragonflydance began to lead the apprentices away from the clearing, her heas raised and eyes clear, though crisp with misery.

[Spice..xx]

_{Dewpaw licked Tawnypaws head softly as her sister pushed her face into her chest. She stood up slowly as Dragonflydance approached them. She nodded blankly to the medicine cat and began walking, her grey eyes empty and hollow looking. She looked as if she wasnt there, as if she wasnt seeing what everyone else was seeing. She kept walking along with the others, but she didnt speak, didnt even make any sign that she knew they were there.}[/color]

[KURI. (happy birfday to me :D)]

Barrenpaw nodded and flicked Treepaw's flank. Silently, he gently grabbed hold of Lemonzest's scruff. He waited for Lemonzest, Icelily and his brother to help him - he was only a half-grown apprentice, anyway. It wasn't the fact that Lemonzest was dead that unsettled him - dying was right next to living, it was how empty Tawnypaw and Dewpaw had seemed. He had never known his mother. He remembered Barleypaw crying for their mother when she was a kit, but after she began sleeping in the apprentice's den it pretty much stopped. Something twisted inside him; why was he so concerned about Tawnypaw, the same apprentice he had been fighting with a few moments earlier? Pushing the thought aside, he gazed to where she, Dewpaw and Dragonflydance were headed back to camp solumnly.